The secret to where I'm going is, that most of the time, I don't have a specific destination in mind. The coffee shop was never a stop, it's always been a destination. Because after that, I don't really have a place to go to. I am still a student, even though I look like a well paid professional (that's the beauty of having some fashion sense and knowing all the deals for clothing). And I don't have a stable job to rely on at this point of my life. Nor do I have people.
This big city is not my hometown. I came here to rescue myself from a life I couldn't handle back home. By setting myself free, I also didn't leave any strings attached. Sure I have friends, and even a boyfriend now. But they don't solve my personal issues.
I was so desperate of leaving and starting a new life that I didn't think everything straight and the program I chose won't lead me to any good job. I wanted to have that life I used to see on the screen of my computer. I wanted to be and became the fashionable girl who walks downtown with her coffee cup and her beautiful purse. But what I never thought of at the time was where I should be walking. What's the destination of it all? And I don't know how to do it at this point. I became what I wanted to be, not who I wanted to be.
And now that I'm here, that girl with a Starbucks coffee and high heels, I realize that the biggest question of all is the one I haven't answered out yet.
Everything isn't totally bad though. And I don't want to use these blog to complain. I've got a little bit of money aside and I'm still in college, getting a bachelor degree which is worth something no matter what. But at this time of my life, most of my future is in the blur. I have a lot to figure out, and I want to share it with you, because you might somehow relate too.
Xoxo
Starbucks coffe and high heels
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