I want to go back to my last post, in which I talked about overbuying clothing and this feeling I often get of needing something new to have a change in my life. Sometimes I wonder why appearance takes so much place in my existence. I'm not the type of person that would judge other people on their looks, so why do I feel the personal need to be at my best all the time?
You will rarely see me getting out of my house without checking myself in the mirror one last time. And seeing myself looking good is a very powerful source of motivation to get through the day. But why? I have a boyfriend who cares a lot about his look when he's working, but somehow he manages without a full length mirror at his place. When I ask him about it, he says he doesn't need to see himself all the time, and if he tried something in front of the mirror once, then it's all good for all the next times he will be wearing the same outfit.
I don't know if women are more focused on their image in general, or if we have a bigger sense of insecurity that constantly makes us feel the need of checking ourselves, but it's something that clearly matters in our daily lives.
And especially, why are we constantly in this competition against ourselves and need to always be looking our best when we don't give it that much importance when it comes to other people we live or work with?
This is an important question to me, and I hope you think of it as well, because this blog has a lot to do with insecurities and self perception, and I want to get into deeper subjects of my life, but first I have to cover all these little aspects that make a difference in how I behave and why I act a certain way.
Have a great day
Starbucks coffee and high heels
Xoxo
I will never deny the fact that I am addicted to fashion and clothes. I told you before, I am one of the girls who always wears beautiful and chic outfits, no matter the occasion. It's not that I spend a crazy amount of time in front of the mirror, but I've learned to always look my best with minimal efforts. What I haven't learned in all those years of perfecting my looks is how to reduce the price tag. Sure, I don't spend all my money on my wardrobe, and I don't buy things that are more expensive than my rent, but I still tend to overspend on clothing.
How many of you haven't had this kind of dilemma: on one side, you shouldn't spend more, but on the other, it's a great deal for a beautiful piece, and what's 60 dollars after all? Budgeting comes easily when it's about everything else in life, but for some reason, I can't help buying for my closet even when I really, really should not. I don't consider myself as a shopaholic either. Wouldn't buy anything because it's on sale or trendy. I just happen to be really good at composing outfits and have a good taste.
It is as if clothes were an extension of myself, and I don't want to wear something that isn't truly expressing who I am on the inside. Shallow? Yes, for sure. But also very true. I'm not saying I'm right, I'm saying that this is how I feel about dressing up, and what goes through my head when I'm buying something.
This fall especially, I felt like I needed a big change in my life,and shopping appeared to be the perfect solution. Over the last year, I've grown a lot as a person. I feel different, more mature and my perspective on life has changed a lot. But one thing remains the same, and it's this greed of new clothes to wear all the time. That part of my life has not changed yet. A crazy amount of money I could have saved was used to get new tops, bottoms, shoes… Now I feel a little bit silly for doing so, but at the same time I'm wearing something cozy and pretty that makes me feel good about myself.
Because that is probably the deeper reason of my tendency to overspend on clothing. The need to change skin and find a new way of feeling better about myself and my body. I want to wear items that express who I am on the inside, because I am afraid that the person you see on the outside is not representative enough of my true self. Or maybe I just haven't found a balance between the inside and the outside yet, and my research goes through my closet. And we all know research is expensive.
Starbucks coffee and high heels
Xoxo
I'm one of the many girls you'll see on the city. A fashion addict in her 20’s, walking confidently while crossing over a busy street on a crazy weekday afternoon. I'm on of those girls that project high self esteem and signs of success and you might think that I probably work at some great company with a huge number on my paycheck at the end of each month. I'm one of those girls that sometimes have what you call a bitchy face, and seem unapproachable. But sometimes you'll also see me smiling and you wish you knew why I seem so happy, because it's probably about something really cool.
I'm one those those girls tv shows and novels are about. I'm the cool kid, I'm the person you want to be. Because when you see me in the city, you recognize this girl your favorite book when you were a teenager was about. The way I walk, talk, eat, shop and the lifestyle I project when I wonder around with my Starbucks coffee cup in one hand, and a to-die-for bag in the other, is what you have been told is a sign of self accomplishment. How many times have you wished to be me? Be honest with yourself, it happened at least once. All the magazines and other media tell you that I, the cool, fashionable girl who crosses the street with my coffee, am the perfect example of lifestyle and great taste.
And I won't lie to you, I like being that way. I like getting my coffee in my pretty clothes and high heels, knowing that what I'm doing is considered as a sign of success.
In a very shallow way, though. Because of course, what you never, ever see when a girl like me is crossing the street after she got her coffee, is where she is actually going. And I'll tell you the truth: I don’t work in a fancy fashion or Marketing company. Actually, I don't have a job at all. I am currently a student with a half completed degree in a subject that won't lead me anywhere near what you think I'm doing, when I walk on the street in my pretty shoes.
So here it is. The truth about those girls walking in the city. Or at least one of those girls. I project an image you envy, because I myself grew up with it, and acting like this comes very naturally to me. I'm not faking it, but it's only who I am on the outside, literally. On the inside, I'm on a difficult and not always fun journey to finding myself and accomplish something good in my life. And I want you to take with me, so you can see what's behind the Starbucks coffee cup and the fashionable handbag. I want you to see what's behind the apparent confidence and good self esteem. I want you to share my struggle, and see who I really am. Because when you meet somebody, you shouldn't be talking about your favorite shop or where to get coffee. Sure, you have that in common, but if you dig dipper, you'll find out very similar fears and doubts, and pains coming from the same spot. As teenage girls, we're told that this is cool to do when we grow up. And we do it, but we forget what's really important. Being happy, surround yourself with people you love, and most important of all, not being afraid of admitting fears, struggles and failures.
I want to take you on my journey because I haven't learned how to do it all yet. And as I do, you might get inspired to let it go with me. If you're one of those girls (or boys) that is walking on a busy street, in a big city, on a crazy weekday afternoon, with no actual place to go, come here, sit with me for a while, and share my journey. Because together we have better chances to learn faster from our mistakes and get stronger.
Come with me on the unique journey of a girl like many you saw crossing the street.
Starbucks coffee and high heels xoxoB
